List of Will Cuppy Quotes

Henry Viii Had So Many Wives Because His Dynastic Sense Was Very Strong Whenever He Saw A Maid Of Honour.

Galvani Was Mistaken About The Amount Of Electricity In Frogs, But He Had Some Good Ideas, Too, For The Galvanometer Is Named In His Honor, And You Don't Have Galvanometers Named After You Merely For Making A Mistake About A Frog.

I Borrow To Pay My Honest Debts And Not To Squander Foolishly. What's More, I Confine My Borrowing To Those Who Can Well Afford It. I Don't Go Around Sponging On Widows And Orphans Unless They Have Plenty.

Much Still Remains To Be Learned About His Sex Life Because The Hummingbird Is Quicker Than The Eye.

The Sloth Lives His Life Upside Down. He Is Perfectly Comfortable That Way. If The Blood Rushes To His Head, Nothing Happens Because There Is Nothing To Work On.

Armadillos Make Affectionate Pets, If You Need Affection That Much.

The Wren-box Problem Is Becoming More Acute Each Year, For Wrens Now Demand Better Housing Conditions And Labor-saving Devices.

Orangutans Teach Us That Looks Are Not Everything-but Warned Near It.

If You Annoy The Hog-nosed Snake Enough, He Will Roll Over On His Back And Play Dead. If You Turn Him Right-side Up, He Will Roll Over To Prove That He Is Dead... While He Is Playing Dead, You Can Go Straight Up To Him And Step On His Head Or Smash Him With A Big Club.

[footnote:] Pliny The Elder Described A Whale Called "balaena Or Whirlpool, Which Is So Long And Broad As To Take Up More In Length And Breadth Than Two Acres Of Ground." This Brings Up Again The Old Question: Are The Classics Doomed? Our Ancestors Believed That Four Years Of This Sort Of Information Would Inevitably Produce A President, Or At Least A Cabinet Member. It Didn't Seem To Work Out That Way.

[footnote:] To Give The Beaver His Due, He Does Things Because He Has To Do Them, Not Because He Believes That Hard Work Per Se Will Somehow Make Him A Better Beaver -- The Beaver May Be Dumb, But He Is Not That Dumb! The Beaver Was Made To Gnaw, And Gnaw He Does. There You Have Him In A Nutshell.

[footnote:] The Dotterel Weighs Only Four Ounces. It Has Long Been A Scientific Riddle How So Much Wrong-headedness Can Manage To Exist In So Small A Space. Still, There's The Least Gnatcatcher.