A Slug Is Always On Its Own.

If You Don't Sleep You Get Run Down. Sloths Never Get A Flu, Cos Its Good Innit Thats When Your Body's Replemishing.

Making The 'an Idiot Abroad' Series, I Was Really Dreading Going To India; I Thought I'd Hate It. It Was A Nightmare, And I Was Really Ill - Just Like Everyone Says.

Me In A One-man Tent Crouching Over Carrier Bag. It's Not Just The Lowest Point Of The Trip. It's The Lowest Point Ever. In 38 Years.

Everyone Is Living For Everyone Else Now. They're Doing Stuff So They Can Tell Other People About It. I Don't Get All That Social Media Stuff, I've Always Got Other Things I Want To Do - Odd Jobs Around The House. No One Wants To Hear About That.

As Long As You're Remembering Baby Jesus, Does It Matter When You're Remembering Him. That's What I'm Saying About Christmas, I Might Not Be In The Mood For It December 25th.