Dilbert: I'm Obsessed With Inventing A Perpetual

The Best Plan Now Is To Have As Many Bosses As Possible. I Call It Boss Diversity. If You Work For A Company And You Have One Boss And That Boss Doesn't Like You Or Wants To Get Rid Of You, You're In Trouble. But If You Work For Yourself, You Have Lots Of Bosses, Who Are Your Customers, And If A Few Of Them Decide They Don't Like You, That's Okay.

The Best You Can Hope For In A Relationship Is To Find Someone Whose Flaws Are The Sort You Don’t Mind. It Is Futile To Look For Someone Who Has No Flaws, Or Someone Who Is Capable Of Significant Change; That Sort Of Person Exists Only In Our Imaginations.

He Was Tenser Than Jesse Jackson On Father's Day.

Stem Cells Are Like Toenail Clippings With A Better Career Plan.

I Would Sometimes Sit In A Crowded Restaurant, And Say, 'you Know, I'm The Only Person In This Restaurant Who Can't Draw.'