I Love Making Videos On My Couch.

If You Decide To Do Comedy That Involves Risk, Risk Means Risk, And You Can't Complain Of Flesh Wounds If You Sit Down At The Table To Play.

Why Would I Become Involved With Something That Doesn't Include Everyone? If You're Getting Married Today, It's The Equivalent Of Joining A Country Club That Doesn't Allow Blacks Or Jews.

I Can't Cater To Everyone's Needs And What They're Going To Be Offended By; That's One Freedom I Have.

Dear America, When You Tell Gay Americans That They Can't Serve Their Country Openly Or Marry The Person That They Love, You're Telling That To Kids Too. So Don't Be F**king Shocked And Wonder Where All These Bullies Are Coming From That Are Torturing Young Kids And Driving Them To Kill Themselves Because They're Different; They Learned It From Watching You.

I've Always Kept My Overhead Low So I Could Do Whatever I Want. I Think Of Myself As Lazy With Spurts Of Getting A Lot Done. I Find Myself Rooting Against Things Sometimes Because I Get Excited At The Thought Of A Clean Slate.