I Never Go Jogging, It Makes Me

Happiness Is A Dry Martini And A Good Woman ... Or A Bad Woman.

Since I've Made It To 87 So Far, Obviously My Two Kids And My Seven Grandchildren Haven't Been Too Hard On Me. On The Other Hand, The Fact That I Have An Unlisted Phone Number And Move A Lot Might Have Something To Do With It.

When I Was In Vegas Women Were Throwing Their Hotel Keys At Me. But It Was After They Checked Out.

I Drink Coffee With My Right Hand, And I Smoke With My Left. But I Talk With Both Hands.

I Get Up Every Morning And Read The Obituary Column. If My Name's Not There, I Eat Breakfast.