I've Honestly Always Been An Overly Analytical,

I Grew Up Outside Of Seattle, And Have Lived Here My Whole Life, And I Think That There Is A Culture Of Questioning, And Guilt. Almost An "anti-ambition." Like, An Awareness, And Then A Subsequent Guilt. But Sometimes That Progressive, Liberal Guilt Is Really Obnoxious, Too - In Some Ways, I Think It's Better To Just Own It. It's Weird, That Actually, The Acknowledgement Of Privilege Or The Enactment Of Guilt Can Be As Obnoxious As Anything Else. It's A Never-ending Rabbit Hole. We're Really In A Rabbit Hole Right Now, With This Conversation. We're Just Spiraling Down Into The Void.

I Think Grief Is A Step Towards Strength Because It Allows You To Be Porous And Take Everything In, And Have It Transform You. What Will Sit Within You Is Despairing, But At Least It's Feeling. You're Not Numb. Grief Is Sort Of The Allowance Of Feeling.

I Think That The Intentions Are Genuine In The Search For Authenticity, But It Can Tip Over Into Absurdity So Quickly. I Just Start To Wonder, Like, What Authenticity Even Is, And Whether We Can Even Start To Define It In Such A Globalized World.

Well, In Some Ways I Had Sort Of The Opposite Experience Of Other People That Are Sort Of Dreaming Of Being In A Rock Band. I Was Dreaming Of Like Corporate Lunches And Just Like, And I'm Not Really Joking. Like The Whole Idea To Me Was Really Appealing.

I've Always Been A Fan First And Foremost - Obsessing Over Bands And Seeking Out Bands, And Spending Hours And Hours Listening. When I Played Music, The Scope Of My Fandom Became More Myopic; I Was Focusing On The Bands We Were Touring With, Or The Bands On The Label. And You're Always Positing Yourself In Relation To Other Bands. Since I Haven't Been Playing, I Feel A Little Less Cynical. I'm Able To Seek Out Music And Approach It Strictly As A Fan.