Perpetual Optimism Is Annoying. It Is A

When I Need To Work Up My Nerve To Write A Tough Column, I Try To Think Of Myself As Emma Peel In A Black Leather Catsuit.

For Two Centuries, The South Has Feared A Takeover By Blacks Or The Feds. In Obama, They Have Both.

Paul Ryan, Who Teamed Up With Akin In The House To Sponsor Harsh Anti-abortion Bills, May Look Young And Hip And New Generation, With His Ipod Full Of Heavy Metal Jams And His Cute Kids. But He's Just A Fresh Face On A Taliban Creed - The Evermore Antediluvian, Anti-women, Anti-immigrant, Anti-gay Conservative Core. Amiable In Khakis And Polo Shirts, Ryan Is The Perfect Modern Leader To Rally Medieval Republicans Who Believe That Adam And Eve Cavorted With Dinosaurs.

The Clintons Want To Do Big Worthy Things, But They Also Want To Squeeze Money From Rich People Wherever They Live On Planet Earth, Insatiably Gobbling Up Cash For Politics And Charity And Themselves From The Same Incestuous Swirl.

If Wit Is The Most Sophisticated Form Of Humor, Pranks Are The Most Juvenile.