The Other Night I Was Playing Twister

I Tend To Avoid Televisions, Politics, And Places With Velvet Ropes.

Suicide Is The #1 Killer Of A Person Who Is In A Boat And Happens To Be Passing Under A Bridge At The Wrong Time.

You Always Hear About The Guy Who Was Raised By Wolves. You Never Hear About The Guy Who Was Raised By The Guy Who Was Raised By Wolves. The Problem Is, You Have A Non-wolf Imparting Wolf Teachings.

I Used To Get Bummed Out When It Rained; Then I Realized That It's God's Way Of Washing Off Hippies.

You Get Really Disillusioned, Because You Thought You Were In Love. But You Realize That You're Just Alone.