The True Meaning Of Christmas Is Actually

I'm A Realist All The Way. I'm Too Cynical To Be An Optimist. But I've Lived Too Much Of A Charmed Life So Far To Ever Be A Pessimist.

I Had A Happy Childhood In A Nice Suburban Area, Pretty Idyllic, Upper Middle Class And Very, Very White. My Dad Is An Attorney. My Mother Is A Housewife. They Had Five Kids In Seven Years: Me, My Brother, And Three Sisters. I'm The Oldest. We Were All Very Active. My Mother Was Exhausted.

I Killed A Squirrel Once With A Car. Twice With A Tennis Racket.

I Come Up With My Jokes By Thinking Of A Topic.

I Feel Like Every First Episode Of A Tv Show Is Bad, You Know, And It Always Improves.