The World Is So Ass-backwards It Almost

The Aclu Spent This Entire Holiday Season Protesting Public Displays Of The Nativity Scene. Yeah, That's The Problem With America Right Now: Public Displays Of Christ's Birth, That's The Problem. It's Unbelievable To Me. The Aclu Will No Longer Fight For Your Right To Put Up A Nativity Scene, But They'll Fight For The Right Of The Local Freak Who Wants To Stumble Onto The Scene And Have Sex With One Of The Sheep.

That Punt Was Higher Than Marion Berry On A Fact-finding Tour Of Cartagena.

When You're Sharing A Mud Hole With A Wildebeest Derriere In Sub-saharan Africa, That's A Living Hell.

It's A Cocktail-party Circuit In D.c., That Guy Who Couldn't Master The Guitar And Get In A Band And Get Laid, He Ends Up There. Gary Condit Make Sense To Me. He's Away From His Family, He's In D.c. - If He Was A Car Dealer In The [san Fernando] Valley Somewhere Out There, He'd Be The Guy Who Was Trying To Get Laid By Offering You The Free Undercoating Package.

I'm Actually Equal Parts Cynicism And Apathy. I'm Always Willing To Believe The Worst As Long As It Doesn't Take Too Much Effort.