There Is A Note In The Front

I Can Remember The Day When All That A Professor Was Supposed To Do Was To Mark "c Minus" On Students' Examination Papers, Then Gohome To Tea. Nowadays They Seem To Feel That They Must Know Just How Much We (outside The University) Eat, What We Do With Our Spare Time, And How We Like Our Eggs.

Anyone Can Do Any Amount Of Work, Provided It Isn't The Work He Is Supposed Be Doing At That Moment.

What Is The Disease Which Manifests Itself In An Inability To Leave A Party--any Party At All--until It Is All Over And The Lightsare Being Put Out?... I Suppose That Part Of This Mania For Staying Is Due To A Fear That, If I Go, Something Good Will Happen And I'll Miss It. Somebody Might Do Card Tricks, Or Shoot Somebody Else.

Other Men Wear White Suits In Summer And It Doesn't Seem To Bother Them. But My White Suit Seems To Be A Little Whiter Than Theirs. I Think Also That It May Have Something Written On The Back Of It, Although I Can't Find It When I Take The Suit Off.

This Congestion In The Post Offices Is Due To What Are Technically Known As "regulations" But What Are Really A Series Of Acrostics And Anagrams Devised By Some Officials Who Got Around A Table One Night And Tried To Be Funny.