There's No Reason To Be Doing Comedy

If You Don't Do Any Self-examinations Or See A Doctor Ever, You'll Live Forever. That's How You Do It. The Diagnosis Is What Gets You. You Just Have A Don't Ask, Don't Tell Policy With Any And All Bodily Functions.

I'm Almost 46. You Become No Longer Even Regarded In A Sexual Way. As You Get Older You're Just Taken Out Of That Realm. So It's Not Anything That Particularly Confronts Me Very Much At All.

Unfortunately, I Am Not One Of Those Comics Where It's Guaranteed That I Hit It Out Of The Park Every Time. You Know, I Am Not Completely Reliable. It's Always Different, And It's A Complete Crapshoot Whether I'm Going To Do Well.

The First Tea Party Protest Was Scheduled For Inauguration Day. So What Were They Upset About? Which Part Of The Job He Was Doing Before He Even Did It Were They Upset About? Secondly, If They Claim To Be Upset With Government Corruption, Government Takeover, Crazy Spending, Where Were They From 2000 To 2008? Right? And Why Weren't They Protesting The Stolen Elections?

You Just Did A Whole Read-through. The Lie That Brought Us Into War Was That Iraq Was A Threat To Us. Well, Now It Is A Threat. Now It Is A Terrorist Hotbed. The Fiction Is Now Reality. And Now We Have To Deal With It. It Was An Attempt At A Corporate Takeover. This Was About Oil. It Wasn't About Human Rights. It's Not About Human Rights.