You Might Be A Redneck If Your

This Happened To Me Last Week. We're In The Process Of Remodeling Our House; We've Been Doing It For A While Now. And We Have The Painters In, Putting Sheets Up Around The Furniture, You Know? And We Have A Piano, Just A Regular, Up Against The Wall Piano. One Of The Painters Said To Me, "is That Y'all's Piano?" I Said, "nah, That's Our Coffee Table, It Just Has Buckteeth! Here's Your Sign!

You May Be A Redneck If . . . You Think You Are An Entrepreneur Because Of The "dirt For Sale" Sign In The Front Yard.

You Might Be A Redneck If Exxon And Conoco Have Offered You Royalties For Your Hair.

You Might Be A Redneck If When You Run Out Of Gas, You Put Gin In The Gas Tank.

You Might Be A Redneck If In An Effort To Watch Your Cholesterol, You Eat Spam Lite.