List of Malcolm Bradbury Quotes

I've Noticed Your Hostility Towards Him... I Ought To Have Guessed You Were Friends.

If God Had Meant Us To Have Group Sex, I Guess He'd Have Given Us All More Organs.

The English Are Polite By Telling Lies. The Americans Are Polite By Telling The Truth.

You Liberals Think That Goats Are Just Sheep From Broken Homes.

I've Often Thought That My Scruples About Stealing Books Were The Only Thing That Stood In The Way Of My Being A Really Great Scholar.

Reading Someone Else's Newspaper Is Like Sleeping With Someone Else's Wife. Nothing Seems To Be Precisely In The Right Place, And When You Find What You Are Looking For, It Is Not Clear Then How To Respond To It.

My Experience Of Ships Is That On Them One Makes An Interesting Discovery About The World. One Finds One Can Do Without It Completely.

Genitals Are A Great Distraction To Scholarship

Life Is A Crisis - So What!

The Whole Point Of Marriage Is To Stop You Getting Anywhere Near Real Life. You Think It's A Great Struggle With The Mystery Of Being. It's More Like Being Smothered In Warm Cocoa. There's Sex, But It's Not What You Think. Marvellous, For The First Fortnight. Then Every Wednesday. If There Isn't A Good Late-night Concert On The Third. Meanwhile You Become A Biological Functionary. An Agent Of The Great Female Womb, Spawning Away, Dumping Its Goods In Your Lap For Succour. Daddy, Daddy, We're Here, And We're Expensive.

But You Are Involved In The World, And Your Actions Have Consequences For Other People, And If You Don't Recognize That, Then That's The Supreme Kind Of Cruelty. Everyone Shares Someone Else's Fate To Some Extent.

The Better Class Of Briton Likes To Send His Children Away To School Until They're Old And Intelligent Enough To Come Home Again. Then They're Too Old And Intelligent To Want To.