Folks, I've Been Straight For Seventeen Days...

I Guess My Main Influences Are Jesus, Rock N Roll And Ex-wives. In That Order.

So Many Of These Comics Are Just Frustrated Singers Or Actors - They Want To Get A Gig Doing A Sitcom. It's Paint-by-the-numbers Comedy, Lame Joke-telling. They're Drawn To It As A Career Move.

There's Always 30 Or 40 Christians Standing Around, Saying, "it's A Shame That He Has To Die." And Jesus Is Saying, "well, Maybe I Wouldn't Have To If Somebody Would Get A Ladder And Pair Of Pliers!!"

Folks, I've Been Straight For Seventeen Days... Not All In A Row.

Ive Never Been Against Women. That Anti-feminist Rap Is Bogus. I Think Men Should Be Nice To Women, Buy Them Diamonds.