I Am Trying To Release Endorphins Here.

A Lady With A Clipboard Stopped Me In The Street The Other Day. She Said, 'can You Spare A Few Minutes For Cancer Research?' I Said, 'all Right, But We Won't Get Much Done.'

I Said To My Girlfriend, You Shouldn't Eat Before You Swim. She Said, "why Not"? I Said, You Look Fat.

A Big Girl Once Came Up To Me After A Show And Said "i Think You're Fatist." I Said "no, No. I Think You're Fattest."

People With Tourettes.....what Makes Them Tick?

Throwing Acid Is Wrong... In Some People's Eyes.