I Would Love To Play Simon Cowell

I Was So Drunk, I Thought A Tube Of Toothpaste Was Astronaut Food.

I Think Anyone Who Has, You Know, Is In Any Sort Of Artistic Pursuit, Kind Of Goes Up And Down With The Way They Feel About Their Work. And I, For The Most Part, Am Pretty Happy Person. But, Yeah. I Go Through Definite Periods Of Time Where I'm Not Funny. I'm Not Good. I'm - I Don't Feel Original.

I Built A Jail In My Closet And I Would Incarcerate My Family From Time To Time.

I Will Watch A Movie That Is Quote Unquote Dark And Not Get The Qualification Of What Is Dark And What Is Not.

When I Was Ten, I Wrote An Essay On What I Would Be When I Grew Up And Said I Would Be A Professional Soccer Player And A Comedian In Off Season.