There Is No Such Place As Budapest.

I Suppose That One Of The Psychological Principles Of Advertising Is To So Hammer The Name Of Your Product Into The Mind Of The Timid Buyer That When He Is Confronted With A Brusk Demand For An Order He Can't Think Of Anything Else To Say, Whether He Wants It Or Not.

This Congestion In The Post Offices Is Due To What Are Technically Known As "regulations" But What Are Really A Series Of Acrostics And Anagrams Devised By Some Officials Who Got Around A Table One Night And Tried To Be Funny.

I Have Often Wondered How They Manage To Get Return Envelopes Which Miss, By One-quarter Of An Inch, Fitting The Blank You Are Supposed To Return. They Say, "please Fill Out And Return The Enclosed Envelope," And The Enclosed Envelope Is Always One-quarter Of An Inch Too Small.

I Can Get Dressed Earlier In The Evening With Every Intention Of Going To A Dance At Midnight, But Somehow After The Theatre The Thing To Do Seems To Be Either To Go To Bed Or Sit Around Somewhere. It Doesn't Seem Possible That Somewhere People Can Be Expecting You At An Hour Like That.

The Ultimate Day Really Begins The Night Before, When You Sit Up Until One O'clock Trying To Get Things Into Trunk And Bags. This Is When You Discover The Well-known Fact That Summer Air Swells Articles To Twice Or Three Times Their Original Size.