Policemen, Like Red Squirrels, Must Be Protected.

I'd The Upbringing A Nun Would Envy. Until I Was Fifteen I Was More Familiar With Africa Than My Own Body.

With Madness, As With Vomit, It's The Passerby Who Receives The Inconvenience.

People Think I Write Fantasy, But I Don't; Some Things May Be Exaggerated Or Distorted In The Same Way That Painters Distort And Alter Things, But They're Realistic Figures. They're Perfectly Recognisable.

You Were Born With Your Legs Apart. They'll Send You To The Grave In A Y-shaped Coffin.

The Kind Of People Who Always Go On About Whether A Thing Is In Good Taste Invariably Have Very Bad Taste.