Sometimes My Mother Goes Through My Socks

Girls Throw Their Panties On The Stage, But Rarely If Ever Do They Fit.

Writer's Block Is A Myth. I Never See The Gardeners Suffering From Gardening Block.

I Was In A Bar The Other Night, Hopping From Barstool To Barstool, Trying To Get Lucky, But There Wasn't Any Gum Under Any Of Them.

I Asked God For A Bike, But I Know God Doesn't Work That Way. So I Stole A Bike And Asked For Forgiveness.

I Was Feeling A Bit Down, I Went To A Therapist A Few Times, At A Hundred Bucks A Pop. But Then I Realized That No Therapy Session Would Ever Cheer Me Up Half As Much As If I Was Just Strolling Along And Found A Hundred Dollar Bill.